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I am of average height and weight, with lucscious locks and a salty temperament.

 

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Tuesday
May292012

Why I hate furniture stores and have never done meth.

I have been trying to act like a responsible adult and NOT buy things for my new loft before I live in it. Instead, I have been using my afore mentioned 'fancy furnishings' board to keep my shit in check. 

It's not that good of an idea. It's sort of like using morphine to wean yourself off of meth - it works for the time being but it's so much worse in the long run. 

[Side note: I have no idea why I just pretended to know anything about weaning oneself off of meth. I took morphine after a knee surgery once. I had one of those drips where you hit the button every 8 minutes or something. I hit it about 6 times. And threw up about 6 times. I'm such a nerd that I have to take my allergy medicine at night because it makes me all loopy. I can't even imagine what meth would do to me.]

Yesterday I finally gave in and decided to allow myself to browse actual furniture stores under the guise of Memorial Day sales. I am looking for accent chairs and have been pinning a lot along these lines:

Simple, modern, wooden. 

I made it through ONE furniture store. 

Why is it that furniture salespeople seem bent on giving you the least enjoyable experience ever? You step past the first set of doors and you can see them all lined up inside the store, waiting.

When Lulu really wants something that you have (like an apple or a piece of paper or a rock... anything really), she sits very, very still and stares at you. Her eyes get really wide so that you can see the whites all the way around and she shakes just a little.

Furniture store salespeople seem to act similarly.

I seriously almost turn around at that point every time. But usually I need something, so I force myself through the second set of doors and into the store. They hold out that stupid little bottle of water as a peace offering, and you have to make a decision. Once you let the vampire across the threshold, they can come in whenever they want. You take that water and you've given this totally unhelpful, often slightly creepy individual license to follow you around for next hour. 

I spent about 20 minutes browsing horrible, gigantic, microfiber monstrosities in tandem with my new friend Dan before I couldn't do it anymore. 

On my way home, I decided to chance it at a thrift store just for kicks. 

And this happened:

Are you shitting me?!

I walked into the store and it was like a light shone down on it from above. The curved back, the angled legs, the low profile - it was fantastic. 

And get this - I looked at the price tag - $6.99.

And it was 50% off. I paid $3.77 for my bad-ass new chair.

SUCK ON THAT, HYDRATION-BASED MICROFIBER SALESPEOPLE OF THE NIGHT.

Reader Comments (4)

Love the thrifty find! I always preface my furniture store shopping with a firm "Swear to god, if you follow me around I'm not buying a damn thing." Sometimes there are expletives too. And then sometimes I have to leave because they break the rules, but they usually don't follow you out of the parking lot, so all's good. Gotta keep the power in your court. And why are they always dressed in full suits? Is it meant to fool us into thinking that we're shopping in Arhaus and not Value City?

May 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

Thanks, Em! I really have no idea how they train those people. "If your customer seems happy and at ease - try harder. You're clearly not doing well."

I did have one guy basically chase me out the doors on Monday. Not. Fun.

May 30, 2012 | Registered Commenterbitchetarian

Love the "new" chair! Is it comfortable? And would you like the blue chair I showed you? If you would, I was thinking it would be a nice housewarming gift.

May 30, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMom

I loved the chair but wanna make it white because I already got some furniture in white, please see here and hope to get great match as shown above.

August 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercarol

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