Mexican food and I have a little problem, namely, that I always want Mexican food. I have not, to date, found a solution to this problem that doesn't involve obesity. I'll let you know if I do.
I feel a little badly even classifying this as a recipe, since it's really just putting things together without doing much to them. And I used food from both a bag and a CAN. But I get a lot of bitching about how my food looks good but no one would ever make it because it takes too long (true), so I'm counting this as a recipe.
Speaking of shit that should not be considered a recipe - TANGENT TIME!
Want to know what Google search has really sad results? "Healthy meals for one person."
The only two recognizable webpages that came up in the results were AARP and Marie Claire, and surprisingly, the Marie Claire article was the more offensive of the two.
It starts, "You all know her — or maybe you are her: the woman at the grocery store pushing a cart filled with Lean Cuisine meals, Pria bars, kitty litter, and a box of Tampax. She might as well be wearing a neon sign that flashes, "Alone, alone, ALONE!"
Uhh... F you too, Marie Claire.
And then, THEN... this.
"Chocolate-Peanut Butter Milkshake
Combine all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth"
Are you kidding me? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! GAHHHHHHHHHHHH! That is NOT a recipe.
I'm single, not a f%!*ng idiot. Or an 11 year-old. I've never read an article that dripped with more unnecessary pity in my life.
The good part of this is that now I have a new life goal - to destroy Marie Claire.
[PS - that's not really true. I don't even know how I would do it. I don't read it, so it's not like I can unsubscribe. I don't know anyone else who reads it either, so I can't even tell other people not to subscribe. Now that I'm thinking about that though, maybe I don't need to worry about it's destruction? Seems like its doing a fine job of sinking itself.]
So, back to this so-called recipe.
Don't hate me for explaining how to do something so simple, okay? And if you do, just remember that at least I didn't give you a "recipe" for a f&%*ng milkshake.
Huevos Rancheros with Refried Beans
- 1/2 16 oz. can of refried beans
- 1 6-8" flour tortilla
- 1 ripe tomato, diced
- 1/2 medium white onion, finely diced
- 1 jalapeno, seeded and minced
- 1 egg and 1 egg white (you can also just use 2 eggs, if you like)
- olive oil
- Any garnishes you like - sour cream and avocados would be my suggestions
- Cilantro, if you like its shitty soap taste (I, personally, do not)
Combine your tomato, onion, and jalapeno in a bowl. I used 1/2 my jalapeno and it was a little mild for me. I'd use the whole thing if you like spice. Sprinkle with salt, mix together, and put it in the fridge. I strongly prefer this fresh pico de gallo to a jarred salsa, but a salsa would work here if that's your thing. It'll be wetter, saltier, and will lack some texture, but it's up to you. Just don't bitch if you use jarred salsa and then don't like my recipe. UP TO YOU.
(Don't disappoint me.)
Heat 1 tsp or so of olive oil in a skillet over medium heat. Once hot, put your tortilla in. Once it's browned, flip it. When it's browned on both sides, take it out and set it aside.
Turn the heat on your skillet down to medium-low. Add another teaspoon of olive oil. While you're waiting for you pan to cool a little and your oil to heat, heat up your refried beans. I used the microwave - fancy.
Once your pan is ready, cook your eggs. I used 1 egg and some additional egg white, but you could use a single egg or two whole eggs if you like. I cooked mine over hard (runny yolk is repulsive), but if you like them over easy, this recipe would suit them well.
Once you've fried your egg, layer your beans on top of your tortilla. Top with egg and pico de gallo, along with whatever garnishes you'd like. I added some light sour cream and some creamy avocado-lemon dressing I had made the night before.
And this meal, folks, serves ONE. One happy, stable, independent, not at all stupid person (ahem, Marie Claire).
Recipe without being peppered with my insecurities can be found here.